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Geeker Deluxe [userpic]


August 5th, 2010 (05:23 pm)

Amanda Seyfried in Chloe

This is my new favorite movie!

*wishes she was Juliette Moore*

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

i need to write

December 6th, 2009 (07:36 pm)

current mood: frustrated

I keep chanting to myself,

only 5 more months
only 5 more months
only 5 more months

then grad school is over and i will have time for a life again!

I need to fucking write!!!!

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

so many vivid dreams again!!!!

September 19th, 2009 (09:20 am)

current mood: sad

they taunt me when i sleep
they creep in through my head
these visions of people
i thought i had left in the past
i wake up shivering and covered in sweat
i still feel the ecstasy
slowly draining from my body
that name is on my lips
that smell is still in my head
then i realize i shouldn't be dreaming these things
i realize i have let this go
no more talking
no more visits
no more hanging out with friends
no more hugs
no more support
nobody left to talk to like we used to talk
no long, lingering, passionate kisses
that made my entire body tremble
no arms around me
the ones that made me feel so safe
no more tears shed for no other reason than i had been crying
no more laughing, and running and giggling
no more playing with the kids
it was all a lie
i thought i had left it behind
distanced myself enough
learned not to care
then, when i sleep
it all creeps back into my head

and i cry again

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

(no subject)

August 13th, 2009 (09:24 am)

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio  "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.  It is the most-requested column I've ever written.  My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1.  Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2.  When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3.  Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4.  Your job won't take care of you when you
are sick.  Your friends and parents will.  Stay in touch.
5.  Pay off your credit cards every month.
6.  You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.
7.  Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8.  It's OK to get angry with God.  He can take it.
9.  Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10.  When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11.  Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12.  It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13.  Don't compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14.  If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15.  Everything can change in the blink of an eye.  But don't worry; God never blinks.
16.  Take a deep breath.  It calms the mind.
17.  Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18.  Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.  It's never too late to have a happy childhood.  But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20.  When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer..
21..  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.  Today is special.
22..  Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23.  Be eccentric now.  Do n't wait for old age to wear purple.
24.  The most important sex organ is the brain.
25.  No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26.  Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27.  Always choose life.
28.  Forgive everyone everything.
29.  What other people think of you is none of your business.
30.  Time heals almost everything.  Give time.
31.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.
33.  Believe in miracles.
34.  God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35...  Don't audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.
36..  Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37.  Your children get only one childhood.
38.  All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39.  Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40.  If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41.  Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42.  The best is yet to come.
43.  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44.  Yield.
45.  Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

*Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves*

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]


May 24th, 2009 (09:29 pm)

current mood: confused

i called a friend to see if it was okay to stop by.
they said no, they were just finishing up dinner could i come back later.   it was after 8pm and they also knew i had my daughter with me.

is it wrong to be offended?  they live quite a ways away, and i rarley make it out there because of money issues.  i had to drive within a mile of their home on my way back home.

i am not sure if i am wrong for letting this hurt my feelings.  i tend to be overly sensitive at times.

*ponders this*

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

Oh to be 17 again, NOT!

May 1st, 2009 (11:04 am)
current mood: smiley

but it IS fun to think about!  I was heard a song that made me smile.  I remember through high school being madly in love with my best friend.  he was smart, and sweet and we spent every free second together.  Even after I told him I loved him, he remained my best friend.  He would not get involved with anybody because he was confused about his sexuality. 
So even today when I hear Crazy For You by Madonna, it reminds me of Kelly and makes me smile.

I really need more smiles right now!


Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one

I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that


I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all

Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see


I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
You'll feel it in my kiss because
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
Its all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
im crazy for you,
Crazy for you
Crazy for you
Crazy for you

its all brand new, im crazy for you
and you know its true, im crazy, crazy for you
its all brand new, im crazy for you
and you know its true, yeah, Im crazy for you
Crazy for you baby
I'm crazy for you

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

it's o fucking ficial

April 29th, 2009 (02:14 pm)

current mood: numb

I give up

it's just not worth it.

at least when i was an asshole, i felt good once in a while

doing the right thing is fucking stupid.  it gets you N O T H I N G

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

and it continues

April 29th, 2009 (11:06 am)

current mood: numb

i called my chinese history professor to let her know i had sent over the parts of my final that got lost.

good news, she found another part of it

bad news, the one she read was all wrong.  if she grades it as is, i have an E which gives me a C in the class. 

good news, she spent 45 minutes giving me advice on what to change. 

*goes to take a nap and wait for the next head smackin*

Geeker Deluxe [userpic]


April 29th, 2009 (07:34 am)
pissed off

current mood: pissed off

Got the computer fixed on Sunday, apparently it wasn't the power supply.

Got back to work, finished one paper and started the next.

Got up this morning, same problem.  No power and it wont' boot up.


Geeker Deluxe [userpic]

and in addition........................

April 23rd, 2009 (02:30 pm)

current mood: determined

4/23 - my router died, i have no wireless

4/24 - got the paperwork on the job loss,  i am going to have to try and sue them.  DAMMIT!  i didn't want to do that, but nobody will hire me with these references

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